JINGLEPAW [ WIP ]

wip

At the beginning, I know who we are and where we're going. I know there's a word for this pain, the specific kind that cuts away at my insides – insanity – but I don't know why you left me and I think I've forgotten where I'm going and what I'm doing here. I don't know who I am, let alone who I am without you. I don't understand why it had to turn out this way – the consequences of war, the price of rebellion – so all I can imagine myself saying if I see you again is take me to the place where it won't hurt anymore. Take me there, and I promise you we will still burn the world to the ground, because that's what we were meant to do. There is nothing else, as we are nothing but old souls fighting for each breath to not be our last, running to stay alive to further a cause we never would have committed to when we were young.

In the end, I beg you, please don't forget that you promised if anything were to happen to me, you would make sure my little Juno made it out alive. If I hadn't been aware of how things were going to turn out, I would have laughed, possibly joked about my daughter and your son falling in love and being happy one day. But now they are separated, exist in two separate worlds, and it's all because of you – not because of me, because I gave up too soon and too easily, but because of you, who gifted her to the Clan of the forest. I'm positive you'll never let go, you'll never forgive yourself for giving her up so willingly, and it's going to kill you slowly, so I wish that I had twined by tail with yours at some point and told you to stop blaming yourself – none of it was your fault, most of it was inevitable, she wasn't safe with you – except I didn't, and now I recognize what regrets truly are.

I remember when we could have been more than what we were, all the instances when you looked me in the eyes and told me you trust you even though you didn't, and when I close my eyes for the last time, all that is left of us is a lie. I shake my head, smile slightly as I do it – I care about you, a truth gone unsaid but one I long to believe you've never forgotten – and watch the world slip away. It still hurts. The memory of the battle is enough to cause me pain, but I rejoice in the knowledge that it's impossible you won't follow through on what we started. Our story was a war we never could have won, and yet I make it through knowing that when you're done, the world we were forced to grow up in will be reduced to nothing but ashes and dust.

. . .

Jinglepaw was born outside of the Clans to Virdie and Ezra during a time of war, but was hidden a week after her birth near the edge of ThunderClan territory. Most assume that she came from kittypet lineage because of the single red ribbon that was tied around her neck, complete with a tinkling silver bell. The frightened and hungry mewling of Jinglepaw combined with the crisp ringing of the small, round kittypet accessory alarmed the morning patrol, but once they stumbled upon her trembling, skeletal form they had no choice but to bring her back to Camp with them (not that they minded, of course — their conscience wouldn't allow for such an immoral thing to occur).

She was nursed back to health by Stormfrost and a Queen who had just given birth that day. Unfortunately, both of her kits were stillborn, but such a tragedy didn't stop her body from producing milk. She quickly became attached to the ball of fluff, amd began to think of Jinglepaw as if she were her own kit. This allowed for an easier time in the Clan, even if some disproved of her role as an apprentice because of her ancestry.

jingle - a nod to the ribbon and bell she was found wearing.


berry - for her sweet disposition.